| Lat 34.543896 |
Long 69.160652 |
You are not here. Those who were, we salute you. But the rest of us, we are not there, we weren't there, and many of us should stand with silent reverence.
Korengal Valley. Where Battle Company 2nd of the 503rd Infantry Regiment 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team served with distinction. And lost the soldier whose name is given to the Combat Operations Base, Restreppo. Juan Sebastián Restreppo.
He is not the only soldier lost there. Close to 50 soldiers died there. Civilian death count unknown. 1 year of combat operations. This was war. Open war. Covert war. Real war.
So, while COB Restreppo was taking fire and returning fire, another battle was going on. And continues. The vicious Caliber War. The longest uninterrupted civilian war in media history. Magazine articles. Blogs. Video Blogs.
Hard fought by battle-hardened, death weary. Their 1000 yard stares seemingly empty as yet another gallon jug of water explodes 30 meters away. Explodes again from another angle. And again in slow motion.
The cantaloupe count is staggering. Watermelons liquified. The towering pile of obliterated 2 liter soda bottles a sticky reminder of humanity's disregard for all things plastic. Eventually recycled, sold off to China, and dumped into the sea. Churning in blighted patch of the Pacific the size of France.
Homo sapiens sapiens is dead. Ecce Homo ignoramus datiens. We are no longer sapient (wise). We are knowledgeable. We are the data species. We don't need wisdom, especially the accumulated wisdom of our predacessors. We have data. We have trends, trendlines, predictive analytics, data lakes, data pools, data analysis, Pareto charts, outliers, anomalies, and clear ballistics gel.
The new Chicago Manual of Style keeps our stats fresh. The autopsy reports alone should silence the belligerents in the Caliber Wars. But a new data set. A new datum line. Conclusions elude us. Opinions beset us from all sides. The causus belli lies deep in the heart of each combatant: my caliber is the best caliber.
The 45 ACP, 9mm, 38 Special, 44 Mag, 357 Mag, 357 Sig, 41 Magnum, 5.7....and even the round given Moses on the Mount... the 10mm (aka The Decalogue). Notice 40 S&W didn't even make the list. Just think of the 40 S&W fans as Team Edward. Don't feel hurt 40 S&W fans. You are safe. It's cool...being anemic is the new swoll.
But you have done the research. You have Google callouses. You have watched the videos. You have poured over the FBI data, the CDC data. Your friend, pick one and only one:
ER Surgeon, spec ops guy, Ranger, SEAL, Delta Force operator, PJ, Green Beret, police officer, the professor, your uncle, the cop who busted your uncle for underage solicitation, forensic pathologist, the guy casting lead boolits in his smithy, prepper who has 50,000 rounds of ammo in his bug out bag.
Your guy knows. He is your wardrobe entrance to Fawn Tumnus' Ballistics Academy. And your choice of caliber has been painstakingly narrowed down. You could choose no other. The data is all there. You have seen the ballistics gel snap and jump. You are an eye witness. And over some $10 bottle of scotch, you'll show any chimp who'll listen the secret of your caliber's primacy. Not even primus parus. Just primus.
And you know, more than anyone else, that your favorite caliber has the mythical quality forged in Mordor: stopping power. Yes, it's unmeasurable. But you know it in your knower. And once, when you were alone on that hiking trail, you felt a tug at your heart. You knew it was time to let go and let Glock. You surrendered. You embraced your caliber. And until your dying breath, you will be telling everyone the good news while remaining 200 yards from any school.
And, armed with your keyboard, you are now on the forums. You are the Terence Howard of Caliber X's supremacy. You are a Kandahar Keyboard Warrior. When the history of this epoc is celebrated in song and saga, you, noble Ragnar Lothbrok, denizen of Lennexa or Lubbock, will have your own chorus. Children will want to be you. Women will want to be with you. As libations poured on elegiac fires hiss in your honor, whispering your name to the 4 Winds, your caliber will be seated at the seat of honor in the Ancestral Hall. Til then, ragged Hannibal, you remain a danger to domesticated animals and yourself. May your children love their stepfather more than you.